Designed for Danger
by WibSkelDS9
Summary: A what-if, role-switching story involving a physicist and the core that would try to kill him.
1. Part 1

Author's Note: What started as idle scribbling in my planner has now taken on a life of its own. That being said, none of this is meant to be taken seriously, and I sincerely appreciate you reading this in any case. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters and references to the Portal or Half-Life games are not the property of the author, nor will they ever be. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead is purely coincidental and highly unfortunate.

* * *

><p>"This way, guy!"<p>

Rick paused briefly to make sure that the test subject was still following him before continuing on the management rail. He had to admire the man's iron nerve, making it this far already - he had appeared completely unfazed when Rick had found him, amazingly, still alive after being in suspension for God knows how long (he secretly hoped the boss had been in suspension as well - it certainly would save him the trouble of being chewed out for slacking off on his test subject duties), and had followed the sphere without a word. That was another thing; the man hadn't said anything at all, which made him either unbelievably gullible, brain-damaged from the extended period in suspension, or the strong, tough-guy, silent type. Judging by the beard and the hard stare, Rick suspected the third option to be true.

"Right…now, if I remember correctly, the last poor sucker that came through here…" Rick squinted (or at least gave a passable imitation thereof) down into a gap in the catwalk at the gloomy mix of debris and foliage below. "…dropped his portal-whatchamacallit somewhere down there. Go ahead and jump down, and I'll meet you later-ish."

The test subject hesitated for a moment before dropping out of sight, landing awkwardly in his unfamiliar long-fall boots. Rick couldn't blame him, honestly; those girly things looked damn uncomfortable.

Several minutes later, the test subject rejoined Rick in one of the old test chambers, holding the portal device in both hands. The human's expression was difficult for Rick to decipher - as he entered, he appeared to be staring down at it as if it would break at any moment. His eyes were wide behind his hipster glasses, but his brow was knit in almost defiant triumph. If that and his broad grin were anything to go by, he must have been really looking forward to getting one of those.

Rick chuckled. "Found it, eh? Let's rock 'n' roll, then."


	2. Part 2

"I tell ya, guy, I wish I knew why they put me in charge of all this sciencey stuff with the test subjects and all that. I should be up managing the defense systems; just watching every wayward squirrel go by and being able to go 'BOOM! HAHAHAHAHA!' Hell, I could strike it out on my own once we get outta here; go off and fight an alien invasion or somethin' like that. Man, that'd be cool! Take one look at some green-blooded bastard and take 'im on with…my bare hands! Boom! Pow! Waboosh! Heheheh—"

Rick cut his train of thought short when he caught the human glaring at him. So much for Mr. Tough Guy.

"Heh…anyway, up ahead is the breaker room. No idea what's gonna be in there, other than breakers. Hopefully an escape pod. Not the sissy, slow-movin' kind, mind you; the kind where it's like you're in a rocket and you're escaping with _style_. Know what I'm talkin' about? That kind."

The test subject didn't seem to be paying attention to what Rick was saying, however…following his line of sight, Rick saw an opening in the wall they happened to be standing next to large enough to crouch through.

"Ooh, a secret passage! Place must be full of 'em, what with the impending structural collapse and all. Say, speaking of which—"

The human appeared to ignore him, setting down the portal device (and, by extension, Rick) on the grating of the catwalk before crawling through.

"Hey, what gives? Where you going?" Silence, followed by some metallic clanging. Rick thought a moment, then called out, "Look out for land mines! Or, y'know…floor mines. Y'never know."

It wasn't long before the man reemerged, something long and rusted clenched in his fist. He wore the same wide grin as when he'd found the portal device, which puzzled Rick somewhat. It wasn't until he'd tucked it into a belt loop in his jumpsuit that he saw what it was.

"What'd you find back there? …What is that, a _crowbar_? Well, I guess that'll be useful for locked doors 'n stuff. Not exactly going to save our _lives_, though, is it?"

The test subject stared at Rick for a long moment and…_laughed_. Not just a chuckle, either, but a full-blown belly laugh, as though the sphere had just told him the funniest joke in the world.

"What? Something I said?"

The human smiled and shook his head, wiping one eye with the back of his hand, before picking up the portal device and continuing along the dark catwalk.

Humans were weird.

* * *

><p>Well, shit.<p>

This was exactly why putting Rick in charge of the test subjects had been a terrible idea. He tried fumbling with the shutdown sequence controls, but the whole thing was password-locked - just his luck. Too late, anyway.

She was awake.

**_"…YOU."_**

Both man and sphere were unceremoniously lifted into the air by two of her grabbing-claws. Rick could only glance around wildly, searching futilely for a way out. Why had going through her chamber been a good idea in the first place? He would have to berate the human later for not finding another path out.

The test subject, for his part, took to flailing and kicking around in an effort to escape. Rick silently commended him on his strength and blind defiance, wishing more than ever that he had limbs of his own.

Her eye bored into him with such an intensity that Rick could not help but cringe in sympathy. Of all the dangerous things in this facility, it was only her that could set him on edge. The human met her stare boldly.

**_"How did you get in here? Thought you could waltz right in and take our secrets, did you?" _**The man didn't answer, unsurprisingly, despite the raw, burning anger in her voice.**_ "What are you after this time, hm? Our gels? Our testing devices? Or—"_** Her head retreated half an inch, as though flinching.

Rick's gaze darted back and forth between them. What the hell was going on?

_**"…you'll never find it, you know. No one will. I made sure of that myself. But as long as you're here, Dr. Freeman, you may as well get a taste of how WE do science."**_

Dr. Freeman? "You know him?"

Her head turned to regard Rick momentarily, before he heard the crunch of metal and electronics, and everything went black.


	3. Part 3

_Infiltrate the facility_, they'd said. _It'll be a piece of cake for you,_ they'd said. Whose bright idea had this been, anyway?

Gordon paused for a moment to rub the bridge of his nose, partly to express his frustration and partly to alleviate his unrelenting headache. While part of him had been undeniably curious about the inner machinations of the enigmatic Aperture Laboratories, he certainly hadn't expected it to be so…different. The chaotic (and painfully inefficient) contents of the sprawling facility were a far cry from anything he'd seen, worked in, or escaped from in Black Mesa. He'd learned long ago, though, to expect the unexpected and not judge anything at face value when it came to either of the companies.

It was the nature of the central computer, however, that he hadn't expected at _all_.

Tales of the _Borealis_ and the mythical handheld portal had all but eclipsed any other rumors emanating from Aperture Science, but he couldn't for the life of him recall if there had been any information about Project GLaDOS beyond its inception. In fact, there hadn't been any activity from Aperture since shortly after the project's announcement, a fact that both intrigued and chilled what remained of the Black Mesa staff. The distinctly feminine voice of what appeared to be the result of that project had so far been largely silent beyond jabs at his company and his parents (all of which were entirely inaccurate, thank you very much). Gordon wondered if the computer's structural schematics were much farther from any files containing information about the _Borealis_ (if the latter existed at all).

In the elevators between the already mentally daunting test chambers (which were a welcome change of pace despite the niggling voice in his head reminding him of higher priorities), he began scanning as much of the surrounding chambers as he could see, building blueprints in his mind of where either of the files could be, any potential obstacles he would face making his way to them, and how to get around them safely. Although the portal device gave him hope, he quite frankly missed the certainty and protection of the HEV suit, despite how sore he got after long periods of wearing it.

He smiled at the memory of Alyx suggesting that he wear the standard Aperture Test Subject jumpsuit, for camouflage's sake if nothing else. Sure, in hindsight the computer's surprisingly vast knowledge of Black Mesa's staff had rendered that idea moot, but it _had_ been a good idea at the time. The fact that Alyx had thought it up also helped him push the thought from his mind.

Bringing his focus back, he saw what he had been missing, and was able to complete the chamber with relative ease.

_**"****Well done, Dr. Freeman,****"**_ came the computer's voice for the first time in a while. He flinched involuntarily – something about the mechanically forced way she said his name was decidedly unsettling. _**"****One wonders if your employers managed to steal the blueprints of our testing tracks as well.****"**_

He thought about retorting that Black Mesa wasn't technically his employer anymore, but swiftly decided against it – the last thing he needed was for _him_ to be brought into this mess.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"What's going on? Who turned out the lights?<strong>_"

The light bridge vanished from under Gordon's feet, sending him plummeting to the chamber floor (he stuck the landing perfectly – a skill he had recently and proudly mastered) and the cube ahead of him into the murky water. A series of panels opened up on the far wall, revealing nothing save the lights of the further chambers and a small green light—

Wait…green?

"Hey hey, guy! I'm back in action!"

Gordon could hardly believe his eyes – the AI (what was his name? Rick?), who had helped him escape after accidentally locking himself in one of the suspension chambers and who he had seen crushed without a second thought by the central computer, was somehow completely fine and back on his management rail.

"Y'didn't think I'd survived, didja? Lesson 1: It takes more than a wimpy claw-crushing to take out Rick the Adventure Sphere! Sorry to break in unannounced, but what's a sphere to do without an entrance, I ask you? Anyway, been doing some pondering while you two were off playing science, and y'know what I did? I came up with an awesome plan! And when I say awesome, guy, I MEAN awesome!"

The computer saved Gordon the trouble of cutting the sphere off in his train of thought. "_**You again? How did you get back onto the rail system?**_"

"THAT, little lady, is for me to know and for you to find out." Finally catching Gordon's unamused stare, Rick cleared his robotic equivalent of a throat. "Ah…right. Part one of our epic plan, my silent friend, is GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"

The hard light bridge reappeared, leading instead out of the chamber and onto a catwalk. Gordon took this as his cue to run.

"Alright, guy," Rick called from somewhere overhead, just as the light bridge disappeared from the catwalk, "rest of the plan goes a little something like this: two, disable turret production so she can't, y'know, kill us with those. Three, make her deadly neurotoxin…less…deadly…somehow. Then we go up, pretend we have some form of leverage, and make her let us out. Just leave it to me, guy; I'll get us there. For the moment, though, make like Forrest and RUN!"

Gordon didn't need telling twice. If there was one thing he had learned from everything he had faced in recent years – everything from Black Mesa to escaping from the Combine – it was how to truly run for his life.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"<strong>**I honestly, truly didn't think you'd fall for that. They'll take just about anybody at Black Mesa, won't they? Then again, you **_**were**_** the one who left that interdimensional portal open…so I guess if anyone is to represent their greatest failure, you're the perfect candidate."**_

Gordon growled softly – he'd been through far too much to not see this trap coming a mile away, and yet the computer had taken the lack of another way through to mean that he'd fallen for it. He had a PhD, for Pete's sake; he didn't have to take this. As for what she'd said about him…

No. No guilt trips. He'd put that behind him long ago.

The walls were closing in around him, he realized. Rather than crushing him (in a way that reminded him of the unnecessarily large trash compactor at Black Mesa), however, it merely made it impossible to avoid the floor that was now dividing beneath his feet.

_This would never happen at Black Mesa,_ an idiotic voice shouted in his head. _There's always another way out!_

But this wasn't Black Mesa. He'd tried to avoid comparisons up to this point, true, but as he made the easy drop into the dark room below the floor, he had to at least give Aperture credit – even despite the chaotic ways they transported their goods, their facilities were at least linearly arranged.

_**"****Well, it was nice getting to know one another. Let's get to business."**_

The glass-walled room began to move forward, and panels parted to reveal the central computer in a domed chamber, both fully restored to what he imagined was their former glory. Gordon's heart sank as his eyes followed the amalgamation of wiring up to a series of circular structures in the ceiling. The writing on them left no room for doubt – this was Project GLaDOS.

_**"****I hope you brought something stronger than that little crowbar. Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll soon be joining those colleagues of yours who died that day. Ha ha."**_

…That did it. Setting the portal device gingerly down beside the toilet(?), he glared at her for a flat second before lunging at the glass, crowbar raised high.

_**"****Goodbye, Dr. Freeman."**_

Turrets-! No…the defectives. He was okay.

"Hey, nice crowbar, pal!" one noted cheerily, shortly before exploding and putting a series of cracks in the glass. The rest exploded as well, one after the other, like a line of combustible dominoes.

_**"****Oh…you were busy back there."**_

Gordon allowed himself a snarky grin. Busy was one thing he was good at keeping.

_**"****Well, I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead…but I have a much better idea."**_ A line of piping emerged from an opening in the domed ceiling, extending toward the glass chamber. _**"I'd like you to meet my good friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd go ahead and continue to breathe normally."**_

Gordon knew that (hopefully) nothing would come out of that pipe, but it certainly made him think about what went through the minds of the countless previous test subjects when they had reached the end of the testing track and were undoubtedly faced by this same pipe (or at the very least something similarly gruesome). He reminded himself never to complain about Black Mesa's retirement plan ever again.

The pipe broke through a pane of glass at the top of the chamber, but instead of deadly gas, a song emerged from it.

"Danana-DAnanana-DUN-DUN! Danadun-danadun! PLAYIN' BY OUR OWN RULES! NANANA! HANGIN' BY OUR FINGERS FROM A MOUNTAIN-!"

Inexplicably, Rick the Adventure Sphere had been diverted to the right pipe, and now tumbled out of it onto the chamber floor. "What'd I miss?"

_**"****I hate you so much. You know that, right?"**_ GLaDOS monotoned from above.

Gordon, for his part, was happy to see the little core again, if only because it meant he wouldn't be facing her alone. Clearing the pre-shattered glass with a quick backhand of the crowbar, he picked up both the portal device and Rick, one with the other.

"_Warning: central core is 80% corrupt,_" came the clipped syntax of the announcer.

_**"****That's funny…I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good." **_Gordon begged to differ.

"_Alternate core detected._"

"Wait, does that guy mean me?" Rick's pupil scanned the ceiling, as if looking for where the announcer's voice was coming from. "Hm, I guess so; unless you're an android and didn't tell me."

"_To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle._" A plug similar to the structure they had risen on earlier rose out of the floor.

_**"****Core transfer...? Oh, you are KIDDING me."**_

"Waaaaaaitaminute…they want to put ME in charge?" Rick's gyroscopic interior whirred in excitement. "Well alrighty then! 'Bout time! Go ahead and plug me in, guy!"

Gordon wasn't the type to want to get involved in business that wasn't his own. Most of the time, however, there were literally no other options. Much like the test chambers he had just traversed, he saw only one way out. Jogging over to the platform, the sphere practically leaped out of his grasp onto the plug.

"_Substitute core accepted. Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?_"

"Hell yeah, I am! Let's do this!"

"_Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?_"

_**"****No-!"**_ For the first time, unmistakable fear rang in the computer's tone, which took Gordon somewhat aback.

"Ah, quit whining, Sally," Rick taunted sardonically from the plug, clearly enjoying the opportunity to show up his superior.

_**"****Nonononononononono—"**_

"_Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue—_"

_**"****Yes!"**_

"SHITSHITPULLMEOUTSHIT—"

"—_unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button._"

"…Never mind! I'm good!"

Gordon's gaze darted back and forth between the two during the exchange. He was a bit befuddled by the logic of the protocol but certain of one thing: how glad he was that Black Mesa had never had the problem of dealing with extensive artificial intelligence.

A large annex was revealed on one side of the chamber, in which an ordinary button rested, prominent against the dark paneling behind it.

_**"****Don't you **_**dare**_** press that button."**_

"Press it! C'mon, this thing's getting uncomfortable!"

Spying uneven flooring around the button, Gordon employed a few portal shots to avoid the panels that sprang up to impede him. A few quick steps brought him directly in front of it.

_**"****You think this will get you to the Borealis?" **_GLaDOS called to him before he could decide whether or not to press the button, clearly desperate. _**"I told you before; you'll never find it!"**_

_Well then_, he thought to himself, _you're of no use to me._

He pressed the button. The massive computer sparked, writhed, and then went utterly still.

"_Stalemate resolved._"

Making his way back into the chamber, Gordon watched as the platform containing Rick slowly descended. "Awwwwwright! Adventure, here I come!" the sphere crowed, his green eye blinking excitedly. "Wait…how's this gonna work, exactly?"

_**"****You'll see." **_GLaDOS intoned ominously, her speech barely registering as a twitch of her optic. _**"Hope you have a high tolerance for pain."**_

"…Wait, what? You sayin' this'll hurt? Bah, what'm I worrying about? I'm not worried! No pain no gAAAAAAAAGH!"

The circular aperture swallowed both Rick and his agonized cries, and Gordon didn't even have time to feel the shudder go down his spine before another opened below GLaDOS' hanging chassis to reveal a hellish red light and several mechanical arms, reaching up like the groping hands of the damned.

_**"****Get your hands off me! No! Stop! NO! NO! NO NO-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**_

Paneling rose to hide the carnage, but the damage was done. Gordon stumbled back, nearly falling, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Screwing his eyes shut, he tried shaking his head, but the scream still echoed in his ears.

_What had he done?_

"_Yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaw!_"

Coming back to awareness, he was greeted by the chamber being bathed in a pale light, the paneled walls rippling, and Rick attached to the chassis where GLaDOS' head had been, rolling and puffing the plates on his exterior casing as if to test the limitations of his new form.

"This is AMAZING! Like wow! This is an adventure all on its own, guy; is—is this the adventure of _existence? _Ohhhhh man! I can feel the whooooooole facility! It's all under my control now; how cool is _that!_" As if just noticing that Gordon was still there, Rick's pupil fell on him and the whole chassis bounced in remembrance. "Oh, right! Escape elevator. Sorry it's not that spiffy rocket we were discussing earlier; I'll get working on that."

Gordon sighed and made his way over to the elevator descending from the ceiling, his shoulders drooping slightly. He hadn't discovered anything about the _Borealis_, true, but at least he would be able to carry back the news of what had become of Aperture in the years following the Seven Hour War.

Rick made another showy twirl in the chassis as Gordon stepped into the lift. "Ding! I just put the turrets back into production! Now THAT'LL create some danger! Ohhh man, there's so much to do to make this place more _adventurous_! Aw, I can't wait to see what else I can do being in charge! Ha_haaa,_ this is awesome!" Gordon tried to smile while simultaneously avoiding staring at the discarded head of GLaDOS on the floor. Neither worked.

"Oh…right! Off you go!" Rick turned away as the elevator began to rise. "Yeah…_adventure_…that'll be _great_…heheh. Hehahaha. Haha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

…_uh oh._

"Ahaha—hey. Hold it right there, guy." The elevator halted and reversed direction.

_No no no no no-!_ Gordon suddenly felt claustrophobic. He tried banging a clenched fist on the glass of the elevator in protest, but Rick appeared to pay no attention as the lighting darkened back to that horrible hellish red.

"Y'know what I remembered? Adventure is a _dual effort_, ain't it? Not much fun being a hero unless there's comic relief, y'know? AND, according to my newfound encyclopedic databases, YOU have quite an adventuring history, guy. So, y'know what? I think I'll let you stay here and test how _awesome_ my adventuring standards are. Whaddaya say, guy?"

Gordon shook his head violently, reaching for his crowbar and clutching on it like a lifeline.

"Haha, oh _really?_ Well, y'know what? _Too bad!_ I've got you right where I want you, and THAT'S where you'll stay! Ahahahahaha!"

_NO-!_ He swung the crowbar at the glass and frame of the elevator, repeating the action with increased desperation when neither yielded.

**_"_Don't**_** underestimate him. He'll find a way."**_

Gordon looked back down at the GLaDOS head, blinking in surprise. Her optic still glared and burned brightly, though at what or who he couldn't tell.

"Is that so, dollface? Well, let's even the odds a bit then, shall we?"

One last mechanical arm appeared and attached itself to the discarded core, dragging it back into the source of the red light.

_**"****What are you doing? No! No!"**_

Gordon could only watch the sparks fly as Rick chuckled darkly, looking down at whatever it was he was doing to GLaDOS. From how it sounded, though, it certainly wasn't going to be pretty.

Sure enough, a merry little _ding!_ resounded at the end of the process, and a mechanical claw extended toward Gordon and held up—

"See that little thing? It's a potato battery! _I put her in a goddamn potato! I can DO that!_"

Gordon stared at the potato, trying to swallow down the horror rising in his throat as Rick continued reveling in his new power by way of increasingly mad laughter. Only a small yellow light and a few wires indicated that this indeed contained the mind of Aperture's former queen. And she still had a voice.

_**"****I know what you are."**_

"…Say what?" Rick's eye narrowed dangerously as he brought the potato up close to what passed as his face.

_**"****Not all minds survived…the core conversion process. We still have stores of corrupted cores unfit for use. Most of them went insane immediately upon activation. Others…well, they took on personas. A coping mechanism to stave off the darkness of their new existences."**_

"…Shut up." The core's tone took an even darker turn. Gordon felt a cold sweat drop run down the side of his face.

_**"****Yes. That's what you are: an act. Adventure sphere? You might just be the greatest coward who ever lived."**_

"_I said SHUT UP!_" Suddenly, the claw had punched a hole in the elevator's glass, leaving Gordon barely enough time to throw his arms up and shield his face from a shower of broken shards.

_**"****Or what! What could you POSSIBLY do on your own, coward!" **_GLaDOS shouted right back, before being unceremoniously dropped by the retreating claw onto the elevator floor.

"_I AM NOT A COWARD!_" Rick roared. _"COULD A COWARD DO__** THIS!**_"

There was a great crunch of metal against metal, and Gordon felt the elevator being punched, each successive blow causing the structure to drop and creak dangerously. The only thing he could think to do was keep a firm grip on both the portal device and the crowbar as the floor gave way and he plunged into darkness.


End file.
